by @AnnieDaylon
This year (2018) I debated whether or not to continue with writing. What was weighing on me was a commitment I’d made: a trilogy. Could I finish it?
After I published Book I of The Kerrigan Chronicles, rather than writing Book II of this historical suspense trilogy set in Newfoundland, I wrote a modern-day mystery set in Vancouver. I enjoyed writing the mystery and was happy with the outcome but, once it was done, I had no gas left in the tank. I had been trying to do too much… media and marketing and blogging, oh my! Out of necessity, I stepped back.
After a while, with the phrases “write first” and “just show up” embedded in my philosophy, I slid back in. Not to social media. Just to writing. Slowly, as in fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, one hour a day, the work took shape on the page. Still I agonized over it.
A few months ago, I woke up with a lump at the base of my throat, literally. It was the size of a Grade A large egg. (I won’t leave you in suspense. It was diagnosed as a cyst which subsided without medical intervention.) Of course, I didn’t know that then.
That morning, I drank my coffee, did my crossword puzzle, and had a shower before I woke up my husband. “We’ve got trouble,” I told him.
At Emergency, we waited four hours. The doctor I saw told me it could be cancer. “Do you smoke?”
“I quit sixteen years ago.”
“It still could be cancer. We will try to get you in for an ultrasound.”
I went home and, while waiting for my ultrasound which was scheduled the next day, I started wondering. I’m not young, I had lost a friend to cancer recently, and found myself asking what it was I wanted to do with my life. Two things came up:
1) Would I outlive my dog? (A silly question to some, but dog lovers get this.) I had recently met a lady with an elderly chocolate lab, a dog whose male owner had died and the dog went up to every man it saw, sniffing, searching. I wouldn’t want our precious CoCo to know loss like that.
2) Was I wasting my time with all this writing? Was I meant to finish this Newfoundland story?
All night I wondered and finally just threw the questions to the universe.
The next day, at the Imaging Department of the Chilliwack Hospital, I was pointed toward chairs in the hallway outside the ultrasound rooms. I walked down the hall, sat down, and looked up. I smiled.
I live in British Columbia which, via the TransCanada Highway is about 7000 kilometres (4350 miles) from St. John’s, Newfoundland and yet, on the wall opposite me were posters of three iconic images from Newfoundland, each poster trademarked with the logo of the Department of Tourism, Newfoundland and Labrador.
I didn’t take photos of them at the time, but I wished I had because, when I went back to do that, they were gone, replaced by other images. (What you see above are Shutterstock pics, l-r Iceberg off Cape Bonavista, Cape Spear Light House, Jelly Bean Row Houses in St. John’s.)
Obviously, I’m back, writing, first and foremost, and balancing hush with hustle. Book II, Of Sea and Sand, is falling into place and now I will let it rest in place until the new year sets in.
The take-away? When in doubt, take a break.
Ask the universe….
All the best, always,
